{"id":4221,"date":"2019-06-09T17:39:06","date_gmt":"2019-06-09T08:39:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/crossroads-church.jp\/?p=4221"},"modified":"2019-06-09T17:46:34","modified_gmt":"2019-06-09T08:46:34","slug":"2019-06-09","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/crossroads-church.jp\/?p=4221","title":{"rendered":"1\u30c6\u30e2\u30c63:1-3 \u300e\u5f1f\u5b50\u6210\u719f\uff1a\u4e71\u66b4\u3067\u306f\u306a\u3044\u300f 2019\/06\/09 David Hawley"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span class=\"embed-youtube\" style=\"text-align:center; display: block;\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" class=\"youtube-player\" width=\"1140\" height=\"642\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/NChimAvDdTg?version=3&#038;rel=1&#038;showsearch=0&#038;showinfo=1&#038;iv_load_policy=1&#038;fs=1&#038;hl=ja&#038;autohide=2&#038;wmode=transparent\" allowfullscreen=\"true\" style=\"border:0;\" sandbox=\"allow-scripts allow-same-origin allow-popups allow-presentation allow-popups-to-escape-sandbox\"><\/iframe><\/span><\/p>\n<p>Passage 1 Tim 3:3 \/ James 4:1-10<br \/>\nOther passages Exodus 2:14<br \/>\nref Genesis 4, 2 Samuel 11<br \/>\nBackground 1 Timothy 3\u2019s list of qualifications for a church leader, which tells us<br \/>\nwhat a mature disciple should be like.<br \/>\n\u201cNot violent, but gentle\u201d<br \/>\nSynopsis of the passage A mature disciple is not violent<br \/>\nMessage Outline Part 1: Not violent<br \/>\n\u25cf Violence and shame in the Bible<br \/>\n\u25cf Violence among us<br \/>\n\u25cf The basis of a cure<br \/>\n\u25cb Ask God for what we need<br \/>\n\u25cb Humbly submit to God<br \/>\n\u25cb Wash our hands and hearts<br \/>\n\u25a0 We are to make an effort to clean ourselves up<br \/>\n\u25a0 This include getting support, and help or training<br \/>\nin healthier ways. Humility will be needed.<br \/>\n\u25cb In Jesus, God has removed our shame and given us the<br \/>\nlove and respect for which we long.<br \/>\nPart 2: \u2018Not Violent, but gentle\u2019 in the context of leadership. The<br \/>\nexample of Paul from 2 Cor 10.<br \/>\nApplication<br \/>\nTitle Maturity &#8211; Not violent<br \/>\n1 Tim 3:3 not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money.<br \/>\n1.Introduction<br \/>\n\u25cf We have been going through the qualifications for church leaders in 1 Tim 3. We are also taking these<br \/>\nas markers of mature discipleship.<br \/>\n\u25cf Last time, we discussed the qualification \u2018Not a drinker\u2019. In summary:<br \/>\n\u25cb Alcohol is a blessing in moderation but a curse if abused<br \/>\n\u25cb Abuse is shown when we do things we shouldn\u2019t, or neglect to do what we should<br \/>\n\u25cb We are free to drink, but<br \/>\n\u25a0 We should not overestimate our capacity to avoid abusing alcohol<br \/>\n\u25a0 We should consider others who could be affected by our example<br \/>\n\u25a0 But for the sake of the salvation of others, we may follow Jesus and Paul in going into<br \/>\npotentially risky situations<br \/>\n\u25cf After \u2018not drinker\u2019, we have the qualification \u2018not violent\u2019.<br \/>\n\u25cf Just as drinking precedes violence in today\u2019s text, drinking often enables violence:<br \/>\n\u25cb US stats: Estimated 40% of all violent crimes happened when someone was drinking, 70% of<br \/>\nthose (28% of all crime) crimes occured at home to someone who was drinking.<br \/>\n\u25cf So our topic for today Is \u2018not violent\u2019.<br \/>\n\u25cf Some motivating questions<br \/>\n\u25cb Why are people violent?<br \/>\n\u25cb How can we avoid violence?<br \/>\n\u25cf Three points<br \/>\n\u25cb Violence in the bible<br \/>\n\u25cb Violence in current society<br \/>\n\u25cb Addressing the roots of violence<br \/>\n2.Violence in the Bible: shame and desire<br \/>\nSo first of all, what is violence?<br \/>\n&#8211; The word used here for \u2018violent\u2019 can be translated \u2018brawler\u2019.<br \/>\n&#8211; This is someone who is ready to punch you out.<br \/>\n&#8211; Someone who easily takes offense, and responds in anger<br \/>\n&#8211; And if you are drinking, that will make it more likely that you act it out violently.<br \/>\nLet\u2019s look at some biblical accounts of violence by individuals<br \/>\n&#8211; Gen 4. Quote 4:4-7<br \/>\n4 And Abel also brought an offering\u2014fat portions from some of the firstborn of his flock.<br \/>\nThe Lord looked with favor on Abel and his offering, 5 but on Cain and his offering he did<br \/>\nnot look with favor. So Cain was very angry, and his face was downcast.<br \/>\n6 Then the Lord said to Cain, \u201cWhy are you angry? Why is your face downcast? 7 If you do<br \/>\nwhat is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching<br \/>\nat your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it.\u201d<br \/>\n&#8211; The eldest son Cain is ashamed of his failure to do what is right, and resentful of his successful<br \/>\nyounger brother Abel.<br \/>\n&#8211; He is unable to deal with his negative feelings, and winds up murdering his brother Abel<br \/>\nas a way to deal with his shame<br \/>\n&#8211; A few verses later, Abel\u2019s descendant Lamech, boasted that Lamech would kill anyone who<br \/>\ndisrespected him.<br \/>\n&#8211; To maintain their honor, some men are willing to commit murder.<br \/>\n&#8211; In Exodus 2. Moses kills an Egyptian who is beating a fellow Hebrew. He is discovered by another<br \/>\nHebrew, who remarks:<br \/>\n&#8211; 2:14 \u201cWho made you ruler and judge over us? Are you thinking of killing me as you killed<br \/>\nthe Egyptian?\u201d<br \/>\n&#8211; So why did Moses kill the Egyptian? Was it to express his desire to be a benefactor to his tribe,<br \/>\nand get honor? Or was it purely for justice?<br \/>\n&#8211; The bible tells us that Moses was humbled in the desert, and Moses became known for his<br \/>\nhumility. (Numbers 12:3) And then he was appointed ruler by God.<br \/>\n&#8211; The implication is that Moses was looking for honor among his people when he killed. But that<br \/>\nwas not God\u2019s way to make him ruler.<br \/>\n&#8211; 2 Sam 11-12: David is staying home rather than doing his job, and he sees Bathsheba bathing, and<br \/>\ntakes her to bed. She gets pregnant, so David conspires to get her husband killed.<br \/>\n&#8211; David\u2019s lust for something that wasn\u2019t his, and then his desire to cover up his shameful deed,<br \/>\nlead him to violence. As a result, God shames him by letting his son take his wives publicly.<br \/>\nIn these cases, we have men acting violently to get or defend what they want, which is basically honor.<br \/>\nBible cultures are honor\/shame oriented, like Japan.<br \/>\n3.Violence in our society<br \/>\n&#8211; As we saw from the bible, men in particular seek honor and avoid shame. One expert on violent<br \/>\ncriminals claims that all serious violence is due to shame and humiliation, disrespect and ridicule, and an<br \/>\nattempt to prevent or undo this \u2018loss of face\u2019.<br \/>\n&#8211; E.g. If society treats you as worthless, you can\u2019t get a job, you can\u2019t get married, you have no<br \/>\nfriends, you will experience a mixture of anger or depression. You will tend to think other people<br \/>\nare worthless too, because they certainly aren\u2019t of any use to you.<br \/>\n&#8211; And then particularly if you are a man, you may commit a violent act like the ones we see<br \/>\nin the news.<br \/>\n&#8211; E.g. in honor cultures, families will even kill their own family members to preserve honor. And we<br \/>\nhave seen that too recently in the news, where a man killed his son.<br \/>\n&#8211; But here is a problem closer to home: DV<br \/>\n&#8211; DV is also often associated with alcohol use: 80% of DV is associated with alcohol or drug<br \/>\nproblems, or mental illness (e.g. BPD).<br \/>\n&#8211; This is usually framed as men assaulting women, but that\u2019s not the whole truth.<br \/>\n&#8211; In DV, who starts it? estimated percentages, in decreasing order?<br \/>\n&#8211; Mutual, 48-52%<br \/>\n&#8211; Female: 35-38%<br \/>\n&#8211; Male: 15-22%<br \/>\n&#8211; So the most common case, is that both participate and it is not clear who started it. This case has<br \/>\nthe highest recurrence rates.<br \/>\n&#8211; Second most commonly, women start it. The women themselves say so.<br \/>\n&#8211; The least likely case is that the man starts it.<br \/>\n&#8211; We saw that for men, violence is often about honor and shame.<br \/>\nBut why do women commit DV?<br \/>\n&#8211; One survey of 1000 women, of which 280 assaulted their partners, gave the following top<br \/>\nreasons for the assault:<br \/>\n&#8211; My partner wasn\u2019t sensitive to my needs<br \/>\n&#8211; I wished to gain my partner\u2019s attention<br \/>\n&#8211; My partner was not listening to me<br \/>\n&#8211; Other surveys looked at reasons for women initiating violence.<br \/>\n&#8211; The top reasons are expression of negative emotion, e.g. anger, and a desire to retaliate<br \/>\nfor emotional hurt.<br \/>\n&#8211; And relatedly, the inability to verbally express their feelings.<br \/>\n&#8211; Another common reason is for control and intimidation of their partner.<br \/>\n&#8211; These are psychological reasons.<br \/>\n&#8211; Self-defense is relatively low as a reason for women being violent.<br \/>\n&#8211; Both men and women are aggressive and commit violence, although the way that is done, and the<br \/>\nconsequences may be different.<br \/>\n&#8211; Overall, the statistics show that women are more controlling (especially early in marriage), start<br \/>\nviolence and retaliate more often, use objects more often.<br \/>\n&#8211; But they get injured and require medical help slightly more often.<br \/>\n&#8211; All this is very different from what you might hear in media, etc. Here are some links to look at.<br \/>\n&#8211; Short critique of majority view: http:\/\/www.batteredmen.com\/batdulut.htm<br \/>\n&#8211; Survey of studies: https:\/\/drdondutton.com\/media\/<br \/>\n&#8211; Violence is a human problem, affecting both men and women.<br \/>\n4.Addressing the root of violence<br \/>\n&#8211; But again, why does this happen?<br \/>\n&#8211; James writes on the causes of fighting and how to stop it<br \/>\n&#8211; James 4:1-2a<br \/>\n&#8211; 4 1 What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don\u2019t they come from your desires that<br \/>\nbattle within you? 2a You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get<br \/>\nwhat you want, so you quarrel and fight.<br \/>\n&#8211; All of us, men and women, want to be treated with respect and love, valued and have our voices heard.<br \/>\nWe want many other things too.<br \/>\n&#8211; We believe that we deserve these things.<br \/>\n&#8211; But we often don\u2019t get what we think we deserve.<br \/>\n&#8211; And when we don\u2019t get it, we become angry and we fight.<br \/>\n&#8211; Alternatively, we may suppress our anger or withdraw.<br \/>\n&#8211; This leads to stress, self-harm, isolation, etc.<br \/>\n&#8211; Worse, we may not even be aware of these thoughts and emotionst.<br \/>\n&#8211; What does James tell us we can do about this problem?<br \/>\n&#8211; Here we have an outline, which we will go through quickly:<br \/>\n&#8211; 2b You do not have because you do not ask God.<br \/>\n&#8211; The first thing is that we are to look to God.<br \/>\n&#8211; We are to ask God for what we think we need.<br \/>\n&#8211; We aren\u2019t to use fighting to take it or force someone else to give it to us.<br \/>\n&#8211; It doesn\u2019t matter whether we deserve it, or they owe it to us<br \/>\n3 When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may<br \/>\nspend what you get on your pleasures.<br \/>\n&#8211; The second thing is that we notice our selfishness. We should ask ourselves?<br \/>\n&#8211; Do I really deserve what I am demanding?<br \/>\n&#8211; Do I care just about my wants, and not about the other person?<br \/>\n&#8211; 6 But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: \u201cGod opposes the proud but<br \/>\nshows favor to the humble.\u201d 7 Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he<br \/>\nwill flee from you. 8a Come near to God and he will come near to you.<br \/>\n&#8211; The third thing is to submit ourselves to God<br \/>\n&#8211; The promise is that if we humble ourselves and submit ourselves to God, that he will<br \/>\ncome to us. His presence in our lives is our strength and motivation.<br \/>\n&#8211; 8b Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. 9 Grieve,<br \/>\nmourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom.<br \/>\n&#8211; We are to grieve our sin, and take action to make ourselves clean<br \/>\n&#8211; Our hands are what we do, and our heart is how we feel. We need to purify both of them.<br \/>\n&#8211; Making ourselves clean might require us to share our problems with others, or get training<br \/>\non communication skills or managing our emotions, etc.<br \/>\n&#8211; This requires humility!<br \/>\n&#8211; 10 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.<br \/>\n&#8211; v10 If we humble ourselves and submit to God, he will heal us and lift us up<br \/>\n&#8211; When Jesus died on the cross, he took our shame.<br \/>\n&#8211; And when he rose, he made us part of God\u2019s family, a name of great honor.<br \/>\n&#8211; And his plan is crown us with glory<br \/>\n&#8211; Isn\u2019t this what we long for so deeply? Isn\u2019t this more important than anything else?<br \/>\n&#8211; So let us not be angry or afraid, but humble ourselves before God, and he will heal us.<br \/>\n5.Questions for discussion<br \/>\n1. What kind of things come to mind when you hear the word \u2018violence\u2019?<br \/>\n2. To what extent have you observed or even experienced aggressive or controlling behavior, verbal or<br \/>\notherwise? What kind of abuse was it? How did it affect you?<br \/>\n3. How do you deal with negative feelings?<br \/>\n4. What do you think about James\u2019 instructions on dealing with fighting? Does it match with your<br \/>\nexperience?<br \/>\n1. Go to God for what you need<br \/>\n2. Examine whether you are being reasonable or selfish<br \/>\n3. Be humble and submit your desires and emotions to God<br \/>\n4. Take action to clean yourself up (which may include being humble enough to ask for help)<br \/>\n5. Remember God has taken away your shame, has already honored you, and plans glory for you<br \/>\n6.Conclusion<br \/>\n\u25cf Violence can be triggered by many things, including feeling we are not getting the respect or love or<br \/>\nquality of life we deserve. Violence is not a good response.<br \/>\n\u25cf Ultimately, we are to submit our desires to God, let him shape them, and give us what we need.<br \/>\n\u25cf We are to take steps to make ourselves better able to handle the desires within us.<br \/>\n\u25cb That involves changing our attitudes and our behavior<br \/>\n\u25cf God loves and honors us as his children, and no one can take that away from us.<br \/>\nLet us pray.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Passage 1 Tim 3:3 \/ James 4:1-10 Other passages Exodus 2:14 ref Genesis 4, 2 Samuel 11 Background 1 Timothy 3\u2019 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